Monday, March 31, 2008

UPS Whiteboard Guy



This is related to sports in that during every broadcast, you see a UPS commercial about 10 times.

"This particular nonperformer—the floppy-haired fellow standing at the whiteboard—is named Andy Azula, and he's actually the creative director on the campaign. Azula conceived of these ads as a refreshing change from typical shipping spots, which show trucks and package handlers and businesspeople meeting deadlines. To give UPS a sense of what he planned, he filmed sample spots with himself as the whiteboard guy and with co-workers from his ad agency behind the camera. He never imagined he'd appear in the final versions, but when UPS tested various other actors (and kept Azula in the mix), focus groups consistently picked him as their favorite. Azula's guess is that while the other actors had more charisma and energy, his low-key, unpolished delivery made him seem less like an annoying pitchman. As an art director who'd made countless storyboards, he also had a knack for fast, fun sketching. (Though a professional illustrator was employed on the set to speed things up by redrawing the whiteboard between takes. "He had to repress his skills to imitate my style," says Azula.)" - Slate.com

Andy Azula has sold out. While I don't doubt that the he actually drew the sketches in the first dozen or so ads, he no longer does - obviously shown in the ad above. But it gets worse.

The ad in which Azula is sketching a big 18 wheeler with a black guy...he doesn't.

The first time I watched it, I thought it looked weird, so I rewinded it and watched it in slow motion. The black guy's arm flashed red twice. But more importantly, even disappointingly, Azula doesn't appear to be drawing at all. Instead the image is computer generated on a green screen. I would post the video for you, but neither YouTube nor UPS Pressroom: Advertising has that ad available.

Andy Azula is a fraud.

Check it out for yourselves.

You Say Stephen, I Say Stephen



The stage was set. 16.8 seconds remained on the clock. Davidson was down by 2. Stephen Curry (named Most Outstanding Player of the Midwest Regional after scoring 33 points against Wisconsin and 25 against Kansas) would take the game winning shot.

But he didn't. Instead he passed the ball to Jason Richards who had to take the last shot from a mile away, missing the rim by about a foot. I don't have a problem with the shot selection. I do have a problem with the execution. ''They had a lot of bodies and a lot of athletic guys who could chase me,'' Curry said. ''They did make me work hard, and I had good looks at the end, but they weren't falling like they did all tournament. We can't hang our heads. We had opportunities. We just didn't execute.'' Apparently, Curry did too.

I don't understand why Curry took the inbounds pass. Davidson's offense is a funny thing - not a lot of movement, some post play, but generally it relies on Stephen Curry getting open on screens.

''Kansas had four guards out there and they just switched. It kind of defeated the purpose of the play,'' he said. ''I gave them a pump fake to try to get a look, but I was off-balance when he fell down. So I saw Jay open at the top of the key, so I swung it to him.''

Good coaching change by Self. However, having Curry handle the ball does not really make much sense. In any case, Curry wasn't able to get a good look at the basket. He could have tried jumping into the defender and forcing a foul? Would the refs have called it though? It'd be likely. Curry was graced by the all-star rule, which allowed him to, among other things, travel at his leisure. He trusted his teammmates, which you have to respect.

Fear not Davidson/Curry fans! He'll be back next year.

After "I'm definitely coming back next year," the sophomore said in his team's locker room. "I don't think I'm ready for [the NBA]."

It gets better too. Curry said he will likely play PG next season filling the void left by Richards. That will allow Curry to improve upon his drives, his inside game, as well as his ball handling skills, all of which will make him much improved and complete basketball player - as well as a better NBA prospect. Maybe he'll grow another 4 inches before next season.


This is the first time that four #1 seeds have made it to the Final Four. Memphis looks like a completely different team than they did in the regular season. They're the most athletic team still playing and will certainly give UCLA (the media's lovechild) a run for their money. Kansas...

I also don't really understand what the big deal is that Roy's Boys have to play the Jayhawks.

_______________________________________________________

Other Sports Thoughts:

  1. I hate baseball
  2. I hate how baseball highlights take over SportsCenter
  3. I hate how baseball highlights are all the same
  4. The Packers will kickoff the 2008-2009 NFL season against the Vikings September 8 at 7:00pm. Good chance we'll start off 1-0. It'll be the first chance to see Aaron Rodgers as the starting QB for Green Bay. Kinda weird.
  5. 1-0: Floyd Mayweather's WWE record. He not only broke Big Show's nose a couple of weeks ago, but he knocked out the 7', 440 lbs behemoth with his right, brassknuckled fist...after beating him with a metal chair.
  6. Floyd Mayweather should stick to boxing or learn MMA.

Well that was mediocre..

What a boring weekend. Most of the games were not even close. Aside from Davidson's decisive win over Wisconsin, and Louisville's win over Tennessee, which was hardly an upset based upon the actual talent each team possessed, nothing happened. Did I still enjoy myself? heck yes. Some thoughts:

  • I am not discussing UNC because everything I say is, in my warped mind, a potential jinx. That said, they've been playing very well. It should be a good game on Saturday. (jinx free statement? i hope so)
  • UCLA has looked good, but really, have they played anyone that great? I say no. A& M and Xavier were both good teams, but not great. Kansas, aside from Davidson, also did not play anyone that good. UNC and Memphis had strong showings against strong teams, which bodes very well for them (I hope.)
  • UCLA and Memphis will be an interesting match up just because of the contrast of styles. Memphis is a team of athletic freaks. Derrick Rose is really, really good. UCLA is a more disciplined team, but they can go cold at times. Also, as great an outlet passer as CBS and ESPN insists Kevin Love is, It may be harder for him to get good looks against a team as athletic as the Tigers.
  • Credit where it is due, Memphis hit their free throws when it counted yesterday. As long as Chris Douglas- Roberts or Rose are the guys shooting, they are in good shape in that department. That's a large caveat for the final four though.
  • Speaking of Kevin Love, this video of him making full court shots is impressive. But I have never heard such unnecessary fawning over a particular skill as I heard this weekend. Outlet passing, while a nice skill, is not exactly as important as rebounding, dribbling, scoring, running the floor, or many other skills. I've heard enough about it, who cares.



  • Stephen Curry, as I have said before, is the truth. is performance against Wisconsin was incredible. I understand that he went cold for a while against Kansas, which seemingly dug them into a hole they could not rise out of. And I understand that that last play call made him look awful. But...
Do not blame young Stephen! For starters, he still kept them in the game by playing amazingly for the middle twenty minutes or so of the game. And he hit a big 3 when they needed it most. Kansas did a great job of guarding him, and no one else, with one exception that I'll get to shortly, stepped up. More importantly, everyone else on the team bricked all of their free throws. You cannot shoot 41 percent from the line against a team as good as Kansas, it is just terrible. Moreover, the last play call was pretty terrible. If you are Bo McKillop, and you call a high screen and roll for your best player at the end of the game, you HAVE TO KNOW that the two defenders are going to stay with him. Two options here are to have the screener roll to the basket, which he did not and would have been a bad choice as they needed to go for the win based on depth issues and whatnot, or you have another 3 shooter set the screen. This would force the defense to either not double Curry, or to leave a shooter open. Instead they had Thomas Sander set the screen and despite his earlier 3 pointer, he is not a real shooting threat at that stage of the game. The man they should of had set that screen was...
  • The White Lobster! As terrible a nickname as any ( He's from Maine and is White! Very Clever!) This kid was deadly from deep against Kansas. he hit 3 big shots in a row, right when Curry was struggling. He was the only non-curry player to step up in this game. I'm a big Jason Richards fan, but he did not do much when the game was on the line against Kansas. Barr stepped up big, and could of opened things up for Curry or hit the shot himself at the end of the game. Instead, he was stuck in the corner. Davidson had a great run and Curry was incredible, but to blame him for this loss, as many have been, is absurd.
  • I'm too nervous to write anymore about the final four until next week. I'll probably start writing about baseball or something, ugh.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Ward, You Were a Little Rough on the Beaver...

First, let me apologize for my brief hiatus. I know all of you missed my criticism.

Second, June Cleaver never said, "Ward, you were a little rough on the Beaver."

Third, David Carr isn't completely at fault for his many shortcomings, most of which have already been mentioned.

When asked about Matt Schaub, Pro Bowl WR Andre Johnson ha
d this to say:

"When you look at, the differences that I see is that with David [Carr] you had to wait on the ball a little bit more. With Matt, he's pretty decisive with what he's doing. He's going to get back in his drop and let the ball go.When you're in your route, you don't have to wait on the ball or anything like that. I think it just helps the offense as a whole a lot, not just me. It was something you had to get use to when he first got here, but we've gotten use to it."

Just based on that comment, you could label David Carr as a first round bust, an incompetent quarterback lacking both the physical skills as well as the talent to play the position....I'll let FizFashizzle finish my list.


American fiction writer Robert Bloch once said, "The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on."

Dom Capers. Texans head coach from 2002-2005. The first three years of Carr's NFL experience. The three years to groom a rookie quarterback into a starter and a leader in the League. It didn't help that David Carr had to start as a rookie; history shows that should be avoided at all costs. But we must delve to uncover the entire story of David's demise. And to help us out, we once again call upon Andre Johnson. "I think [the problem] was the way he was coached my first couple of years here. He was pretty much just told where to throw the ball. And a lot of people didn't know that. He was never really taught to go through reads and stuff like that" revealed Johnson. "Coach [Gary] Kubiak came in, and that was his big thing - teaching him how to go through reads. So it was like he was taught all over again."

Okay. David Carr still sucks - he threw 42 interceptions in his first 3 seasons. You don't even need a wonderlic score of 4 to know that you should go through your progressions. I mean, David Carr played college football. He wasn't shipped in from Gibraltar and handed a helmet and a playbook. Favre didn't read defenses. He thought Cover 3 meant a WR was triple covered. Favre didn't even know what a nickel defense was. But he did understand how the game worked. He knew how to exploit mismatches and had the arm to get it done. Carr seemed to lack both abilities. But when your first NFL head coach tells you to throw to X, Y, or Z on a certain play, more likely than not you're going to do it. All Carr needed was a little instruction. Some pointers from a veteran. You can't fault Carr for listening to his coaches. Maybe he just listened to closely.

Rationalizing his situation:

At the snap, Carr looks right to Andre Johnson, the WR Capers told him to throw the ball too. Johnson is running a ten yard curl. Johnson is in double coverage. Carr doesn't throw the ball because he sees that it's a risky pass. The game is faster...he hesitates for what seems like a split second, but he gets sacked - 68 times in 2005. A good offensive line would have helped, but that isn't the reason why Carr's performances were laughable.

Superbowl winning head coach Tom Coughlin has recently said, “David Carr is a talented player who came out as the No. 1 pick in the draft. He is a smart and athletic player who has put up some big passing game numbers. We look forward to working with him on the fundamentals of the game. We do have some technical things to work on, but we are anxious to work with him in our program. If we can place him in a positive environment, perhaps he can reclaim some of the things that people saw to draft him in the first round.”

To be honest, I think he's a headcase at this point. He doesn't even know what happened to him. Would I want him to backup my quarterback? Absolutely not. Does he deserve the millions of dollars he'll get over the next couple of years in the league? Probably not. But did Dom Capers completely ruin this kid's chances and destroy his psyche? Without a doubt.

Lose the gloves.

The Karma Is A Bitch Theory

New theory this time. It is, to the best of my knowledge, flawless. Which means someone who reads this will discover a fatal flaw. Call me on it. Do your worst.

So: the fundamentals. Every team starts the season (assuming no injuries) with a neutral Karma-O-Meter. Except for Duke, which starts with mild negative karma because everyone hates them. Throughout the course of the season, various events and games cause the meter to fluctuate one way or the other. As the season gets closer to March Madness, these games and events have more of an impact on the Meter. Upon entering the tourney and throughout, the meter continues to change.

Now. The central premise of this theory: Karma in and of itself does not determine a game’s outcome. BUT. When a team with significant positive karma runs into a team with significant negative karma, it can have a big impact on the game. This is why Georgetown went icy down the stretch and lost to Davidson. This is why Florida won it all last year (I’ll explain). This is why UCLA, Memphis, and Tennessee cannot win the title. This is why Duke ALMOST lost to Belmont and ultimately did lose to WVU.

Before I explain all that, let me list what causes each type of karma:

Positive Karma Causes
  • Injuries: universally cause good karma, because it is a bad thing happening
    • David Padgett, Louisville
    • Ty Lawson, UNC
    • Darren Collison, UCLA
  • Losing Close Games: duh.
    • Davidson a million times
    • Clemson against UNC, 3 times
  • Getting Screwed by the Referees
    • Stanford against UCLA
    • Cal against UCLA
    • A&M against UCLA (notice a pattern? But that’s a subject for another post…)
    • Many, many more
  • Senior Leadership – don’t ask me why; it just works.
    • A.J. Graves, Butler
  • Reserved Coach who Gets It Done
    • Howland, UCLA
    • McKillop, Davidson
Negative Karma Causes:
  • Close wins
    • Georgetown for the entire second half of the season
    • UCLA’s 3 of last 6 games
    • Tennessee toward end of season
    • UNC over Clemson in regular season
  • Getting The Benefit of the Call When The Game Is On The Line
    • Do I need to mention UCLA?
    • Georgetown
    • Memphis (see: Miss. St)
    • Tenn vs Butler (if you want to argue against me on that one, I won’t really fight you)
  • Having a Loud, Obnoxious Asshole Coach
    • Bruce Pearl
    • Coach K (not loud, but a piece of shit)
    • John Calipari
  • Having a Goofy Ugly Player Who Wears a Headband
    • Lorenzo Mata-Real, UCLA
      • Okay, I made this one up specifically for Mata-Real, because I hate him.

Seriously. How ugly is this guy. -50 on the arbitrary karma scale.

This should all make sense now. For what it's worth, Florida won last year because they returned all 5 starters. Major karma props there for not making the jump to the NBA. Maybe in another post I’ll look at all the Elite 8 teams and rate their karma. But I have too much shit to do right now for that.

David Carr!?!?!

While we have some time away from the glorious tournament, I figured I'd post about an issue that has been bothering me for a few weeks now.

The Giants signed this guy:Oh wait, that's not right...

Sorry, the weird white glove confused me.

David Carr and Michael Jackson have more in common than their odd white gloves. Neither of them are good at football. da duh tsk! Thanks I'll be here all night.

In all seriousness, David Carr is a terrible player. He was awful in Houston, but many people gave him a pass because his line was terrible. Then he joined Carolina, where he showed an uncanny ability to hold onto the football for way too long. Perhaps he was once a good quarterback and was damaged by the pounding he received in Houston, but now he is just terrible. he is so bad that the Panthers were forced to bring in 76 year old Vinny Testaverde to play.

Yes, the Giants are only signing him as a back up quarterback, but even that bewilders me. If he clearly cannot play Quarterback in the NFL, why carry him on the roster. If Eli gets hurt and the Giants are forced to play Carr, the Giants are screwed, plain and simple. Just because this guy has starting experience and was a Number 1 pick does not mean he is a serviceable quarterback.

Plainly stated, starting experience is an overrated quality in a backup quarterback. Sure, Carr started, but he FAILED. Just because he happened to be on the field does not make him a better option than a late round rookie or, even better, this guy:
That's right, the Hefty Lefty! While I have no illusions that Jared Lorenzen is an NFL starter, he can stand out behind the center and play at a mediocre level just like David Carr, except Lorenzen will, at the very least, entertain me (Fat quarterbacks are funny...). And who knows, maybe he will show some Quarterbacking acumen, which Carr has, in multiple opportunities, exhibited that he lacks.

Tom Brady had no starting experience when he took over for Drew Bledsoe, and he is doing pretty well for himself. If Eli does happen to get hurt, the Giants are screwed regardless. They may as well take a chance on an unproven commodity, or it Lorenzen's case, an entertaining sight. Signing a veteran who has proven he is not a good quarterback is a waste.
Plus, David Carr looks like a combination of Steve Lavin and Michael Jackson when he is on the field. Quite frankly, aside from the on the field stupidity of the decision, it is embarrassing, and unbecoming of a champion (which, the GIANTS are) to have such a player wearing their uniform.

Monday, March 24, 2008

A look at the weekend that was

Some old- fashioned, bullet form analysis...


  • Stephen Curry, seen above, is the Truth. Despite only shooting 5 for 15 from deep in the game, he carried Davidson on his shoulders over Georgetown. I was at this game, and from the crowd's perspective, it seemed as though every time he touched the ball, especially in the last 10 minutes, that the ball was destined to find the bottom of the net. It was truly one of the most incredible solo performances that I have ever witnessed in person. That said, the rest of the team played very well, especially in the second half. Jason Richards is a great point guard, Andrew Lovedale was all over the place, and the team's undersized big men did an outstanding job of guarding Hibbert, even inducing two offensive fouls, which kept him on the bench for prolonged stretches. It would be foolish to think that they cannot threaten to upset Wisconsin next week, because they have shown the ability and desire necessary to succeed.
  • Speaking of Wisconsin, I have to officially apologize to the Big Ten. The presence of two teams in the Sweet Sixteen is two more than I anticipated. Michigan State, in particular, really impressed me with their win over Pitt, which also represented the final, lethal, blow to my bracket. I still don't like the Big Ten style of play, but I suppose I have to acknowledge that it works. Maybe the Spartans can surprise me and beat Memphis.
  • Memphis is a very talented team, but it would shock me, and most of the people who watch college basketball, if their free throw shooting did not come back to haunt them in the next few games. Villanova showed that it is pretty easy to shut down a team who cannot shoot freebies, and although Memphis is better than Clemson, this glaring weakness will surely punish them before this tournament is through.
  • As mentioned earlier, my bracket is in shambles. I do not mind though, because of four big factors.
    • Dook Lost!
    • Most people's brackets are mediocre at best right now.
    • My little sister's bracket is in the 98th percentile on ESPN. This sums up everything that needs to be said about College Basketball knowledge relating to bracket success.
    • UNC is playing ridiculously.
  • The other game I witnessed was UNC's decimation of the Arkansas Razorbacks. When the Tar Heels destroyed Mt. St. Mary's, I was pleased but I also understood the mediocrity of their competition. Arkansas is a legitimate basketball team, but Carolina made them look like a sixteen seed. The Heels shot almost 68 percent from the field, and the game was over by halftime.
Run away, Razorbacks!
  • Two encouraging notes from that game. Ty Lawson looks to be back in his pre-injury form. This is great news. He, along with Quentin Thomas, are distributing the ball effectively without turning it over. It appears as if Ty's injury was the best thing that could of happened to the Heels, as 'Q' now appears to be a quality player, which was not the case pre-injury. Also, Deon Thompson and Alex Stepheson combined to shoot 13-13 from the field, and they both played outstanding defense. If these two can contribute at this level, or even close, the Tar Heels appear to be seemingly unbeatable (knocking on wood!). Obviously this weekend poses a more difficult challenge, but as a Carolina student and fan, I could not possibly be more encouraged and optimistic than I am now, after yesterday's performance.
  • Louisville-Tennessee, Stanford- Texas, Xavier- West Virginia, and even Kansas- Villanova all look like great match ups, and it should be a fun weekend. I am going to abstain from making more picks, as I obviously am inept when it comes to college basketball clairvoyance.
  • UCLA- Western Kentucky does not appear to be that interesting of a match up, but after UCLA's narrow escape against Texas A&M (Josh Shipp clearly got ALL arm on that last block), it could shape up to be a more entertaining game than expected. We can only hope.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

College Basketball


Ok, so I lied. I am going to write one more, short, stupid article on college basketball. It isn't going to say anything special or new or even interesting, but its my blog and really I can do what I like when I like, so here it is. GAY. That's all I have to say about NCAA D1 basketball. Wanna know why? Cause my D3 Wash U Bears are National Champions baby. Thats right, #1 in D3, so SUCK IT. The Bears defeated Amherst on Saturday, and they didn't just defeat them, they OWNED THEM... 90-68. The Bears were missing their starting point guard, who tore his acl in the beginning of the season. The Bears are young too, with their starting five consisting of only 1 senior, 1 junior, and 3 sophomores (with the starting point guard who missed the whole year being a sophomore as well). The Bears ran through the tournament, coming in as an 8 seed, and still were able to beat 3 #1 seeds as they went. So Congratulations Wash U and the National Championship that you just won.

Now, to be completely honest. I did not watch a single game of their season. I was in Louisville during their tournament and only found out they won when someone on the trip with me informed me. I can name just 1 kid on the team, Alex Baron, and thats only because he went to my high school. I'm not trying to take anything away from the kids on the team because it is awesome that they won the tournament and that they are national champions. But really who cares? Its D3, and means nothing to me. Sorry thats just my personal opinion. Even D1 bball means nothing to me anymore. I can't get excited about anything other than baseball and football now adays, and occasionally the NBA, but really its hard to care about a league in which no one plays defense.

UPDATE: Just thought I'd let you know that my bracket for the REAL D1 tourny is worse off than JT's. 3/4 of my final 4 teams are gay and lost, and only North Carolina, my eventually champion, is still around. GAY.

Crap.

Well, well, well.

My Bracket is completely busted.

Thank you for showing up, Clemson, USC, Pitt, etc.

HOWEVER...

Dook lost! So I am pleased and could care less.

I am off to Raleigh to root for Davidson (against my bracket) and UNC. sick.

Friday, March 21, 2008

My Bracket - Upset Central

Short Absence

I have not been posting since the tourny started in favor of letting JT and Shenanigans post over and over again about how gay they are for this tourny. I will come back sunday and post on things other than March Madness but since this is the best time of the tourny I feel this page can be dedicated to all those fans who have a team in the tourny, or simply don't care that they don't and still watch each and every game. Good luck to... well I don't give a shit who wins, but since I picked UNC... because they are the best team... good luck to the Tar Heels. I'm going to Louisville now goodbye.
(Bracket will be uploaded soon but I have to drive 4 hours to Louisville now, so....)

Day 1 thoughts

Some quick Day 1 thoughts:

  • Obviously no one cares, but I got 13 out of 16 games right yesterday. I am neither elated nor disgusted with this number. One game I got wrong was the 8-9 game between UNLV and Kent State. Oh well, who knew the Golden Flashes would show historically epic ineptitude?
  • Another game I got wrong was the Arizona- West Virginia game. Credit where it is due, more players than just Joe Alexander showed up to play, although he proved to be a huge thorn in Arizona's side as expected. Arizona showed the same inconsistency that has plagued them all year. Perhaps playing for an interim coach can be blamed for these issues? I really see no other excuse for such talent to achieve such mediocrity.
  • As for the third game, well, I will let Bob Knight explain:
"Kansas State has not always been a team that comes to play. Tonight they came to play."
Well said, General!

Well, shit. I had USC in the Sweet 16, so that sucks. Bill Walker took over in the first half, despite foul trouble. Also despite foul trouble, Michael Beasley put up a Beasley-esque Double Double, mostly in the second half. This combined with some general ineptitude shown by USC players not named Mayo, Jefferson, or Gibson, led to the K-State win. In fact, USC's big three and K-State's big two scored the same amount of points. The rest of K-State, to my surprise, outplayed the rest of USC.
  • Most of the other games yesterday were mediocre. A & M and BYU played a reasonably close game, as did Marquette and Kentucky. Joe Crawford, who I made a bit of fun of in my South region preview, absolutely caught fire, and scored 33 points. It wasn't enough, as the Golden Eagles prevailed.
  • Oh yea, Dook almost lost to Belmont. This would have been an epic upset, and was thrilling from start to finish. Every time Dook would start a run, Belmont had an answer. In fact, Belmont even blew some chances to win at the end. Why did no one step in on Gerald Henderson's winning lay up? Why did they fail to execute an out of bounds play so miserably? I cannot even fault them, they are a fifteen seed, and it was an awesome game to watch. I cannot even find the proper words to explain how I would have felt had they won. Orgasmic Elation? Not quite right, but close to that for sure.
  • Speaking of Dook, I feel extremely uncomfortable having them in the Elite 8. I actually thought they were somehow being underrated in the past week, but now it looks as if they were overrated. West Virginia, Xavier, or even Purdue all have great shots at them now. And even if it causes my bracket to fall apart, seeing them lose would be great and worth it.
  • One final Dook note: I love Brian Zoubek. He is one of the worst players I have ever seen. I cannot understand why Coach rat face keeps playing him. Just because he is a 7 footer does not mean he is a positive contributor. But by all means, keep playing him. The amusement that i get from watching 6'5" Belmont players reject him, or take him to the hole for an "And 1" layup, is unrivaled. If anyone can find a picture of him getting rejected, it would be outstanding.
  • Enjoy the games today, I'll be at the Raleigh games this evening to watch UNC and perhaps Indiana. Sweet.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The real, really late West region preview

Let's call a spade a spade shall we? The West region is far and away the weakest region of them all. Since some of the games are going on as I type, I'll get right into it.

Xavier, who is currently down in the first half to Georgia, will win this game. Georgia is not actually good. Xavier, while seeded too high as a 3 seed, is still a superior team to the Bulldogs. Drew Lavender and Stanley Burrell are a good back court, and should rally the Musketeers to a victory.

In the second round, Xavier will probably face Purdue. Purdue is a team with a good, young, core, and they will be dangerous in the years to come, as none of their young stars are of the Beasley-leave early caliber. Baylor is a nice story, but they have been unimpressive the latter part of this season. The Boilermakers should defeat Baylor and move on to the second round, where Xavier, who are far more experienced and well balanced, should end their run.
Many people are picking Drake to be upset by Western Kentucky. This is misguided. Drake is a good mid-major team from a good mid-major conference, and they have a very dangerous penetrate-and-dish style of play that fits their personnel quite well. Drake will move on to face...

UCONN. UCONN will not have trouble with San Diego. They are far too athletic and large up front with Thabeet and Jeff Adrien. Hey, Did you know one of the San Diego player's is related to a mass-murdering cult leader? What an interesting story! Thanks, sports media! I am sure that Rob Jones just loves that all of America knows his family's dark past. College basketball: It's all about the student-athlete's welfare. Alright, moving on.

UCONN will beat Drake. UCONN is just too athletic and large for Drake, whose cinderella season will finally come to an end.

Programming note: Xavier is down 9 at halftime. I stand by my pick, but uh oh.

The West Virginia is the "sleeper" pick of many people to make the Sweet 16. This is entirely because Joe Alexander is good, and Bob Knight has talked them up. But let's be real people. They would have lost to Providence if the Friars did not brick about 23324243 open lay ups. They are not that great of a team. I have Arizona, who underachieved this year due to injury, beating them handily.

Since Dook was seeded a line too high, many people are down on them. Dook has been a very good team this year, despite the one dimensional nature of their game. Dook should beat Arizona and the Xavier, although both of these games have major upset potential, since Dook is vulnerable against speedy guards (see Wake Forest, Miami), and Jerryd Bayless and Drew Lavender both fit this description. I think Dook is too deep to get beat by either of these teams, and they, annoyingly, will probably advance to the Elite 8. Here is your requisite rat face Coach K picture...
Texas A and M against BYU is an interesting match up. Both teams were better earlier this year, and fell off late. Both teams also have good big men, and weaker guards. A and M has more of these good big men, so I pick them to win. It is irrelevant though, as UCLA should tear through either of these teams, despite Luc Richard Mbah a Moute being dinged up.

UCLA against UCONN should be a hell of a game, with tons of great athletes on the floor. UCONN has been more inconsistent this year, while UCLA has been luckier. This game should be close, and can go either way, but UCLA is the pick.

The Regional championship, between UCLA, will not be as close. UCLA will absolutely dominate Dook inside, on the shoulders on Kevin Love. Plus, Dook won't be able to guard all of UCLA's fast little guys. UCLA will advance to the final four. In fact, they will advance to the final, as they should beat Pitt, leading to a UNC- UCLA final. As I said previously, UNC is my homer, and honest opinion, pick. Knocking on wood. Enjoy the tournament everyone, I'll update things after the weekend!

Really Late West Preview!

I have Xavier and Purdue in the early West games today. I'll do a full preview later today...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Thoughts on Cavs vs Pistons

  • LeBron does it again - knocking off a team that has already clinched a playoff berth and is the #2 team in the East
    • It's a shame we can't see LeBron James take on the Celtics
  • The game was kind of like the Cold War:
    • Slow-paced
    • Uneventful
    • Drawn out
    • Not a lot of fireworks
    • Both teams knew their opponent had serious firepower and feared something similar to mutually assured destruction
      • Pistons seemed to want to play it slow and delay the King James offensive assault
      • LeBron only took 19 shots; many of which came in the fourth quarter
        • LeBron has fallen in love with the 3
          • Stupid
            • His drives are unstoppable and result in one of two things
              • A foul
              • 2 points
                • But he's LeBron and can do what he wants
  • I loved the Boobie's Buddies banner hanging from the rafters
  • Kobe can pass 12 times and gets 8 assists
  • LeBron has to pass 24 times to get 8 assists
  • The "Holy Trinity" that is Delonte West, Anderson Varejao, and Wally Szczerbiak took a lot of terrible shots, but made enough of them to make each of them think they were superstars
    • If there was a black leprechaun, he'd look like Delonte West
  • The Cavs supporting cast doesn't do just that
  • Big Z was one of the best players on the court tonight
    • He had 20 points and 8 rebounds
    • Did he even miss a shot in the 2nd half?
  • The Cavs are a completely different team with LeBron running the point
  • I still don't like Rip's mask
  • 'Sheed played well in the post, but took too many 3's
  • The Pistons just didn't shoot all that well
  • "That's the thing - we don't have to play one style," Pistons coach Flip Saunders said after their offensive assault against the Nuggets (who don't even pretend to play defense). "We went out and played San Antonio in a grind-it-out game, and this was a little different. We're not afraid to get out and run. We had 42 assists tonight. That's a lot of assists."
    • I guess they can't play "Don't waste too much energy until LeBron starts taking over"
      • Especially when he didn't start his subjugation until late in the 4th
  • Again, the rest of the Cavs are atrocious
  • The Cavs website says that "Cavs Send Message with Big Win"
    • Message reads: LeBron James = One Man Band

The "Chase Budinger is Dirk Nowitski's Illegitimate Younger Brother" Theory

So I told JT about this pet theory I've developed over the last couple years and he told me to post it here for the viewing world to see. Its name is the title of this post, and you may think I am certifiably insane. But. I will prove to you beyond a doubt that Chase Budinger, University of Arizona star forward, is genetically related to F Dirk Nowitski of Dallas Mavericks fame.

First - the obvious. I give you Dirk Nowitski, older brother.

Note the fact that he resembles one of those cavemen from the GEICO commercials.

Now, his younger sibling, Chase:



I'm telling you. It's uncanny. And I didn't even look that hard for good pictures. Add that long goofy wig they use for the commercials and you'll see the same Neanderthal look.

So, superficial appearances aside (not to mention they have identical shooting form), they are both awkward-looking tall white dudes with a whack shot that always seems to go in. Budinger was a freshman phenom last year who carried his team. Dirk is a German phenom who carries his team every year. They both have a knack for dropping large numbers of points on random nights.

But, ladies and gentlemen, here is the kicker: they both evaporate in the clutch. Poof. Gone. This is why Dallas made a run to the NBA Finals a few years ago, then lost after Dirk went 0-for-brick or something ridiculous like that. In fact, Dirk has garnered quite a reputation for being the anti-clutch. Just the other night he missed a 3-pointer to win at the buzzer after singlehandedly clawing the Mavericks back into a game.
Budinger, on the other hand... well, there is no other hand. It's the same hand. He is exactly the same way, hence the theory. He scores lots of points when it doesn't matter, then turns into a bricklayer when it does. Case in point: Budinger drops 29 points on USC at the end of January to cap a 4-game win streak, during which Budinger scored more than 20 points in each game. The key: it was January. Toward the end of the season, as Arizona slipped on and off the bubble, good ol' Chase averaged 15 ppg, including a 7-point doozy against USC (yes, that same USC). I wish I had the stats to back this up, but I can recall numerous games where Chase missed - bricked, rather - important baskets down the stretch. This is a trend, folks.

However. The Theory dictates that Budinger will excel when the games are relatively unimportant. This is a major reason why I have Arizona, in a couple brackets, knocking off WVU, Duke, and Xavier to advance to the Elite 8. Why the Elite 8? Everyone sees the Elite 8 games, which means we can expect a whole lot of this out of Budinger:

P.S. Also, watch them play. They both kick back their legs sometimes when they shoot, like little girls do when they jump rope.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Sad Day

Every year this seems to happen. Every single year some player gets ill in the off-season during some kind of conditioning, and year after year, someone passes away. Today, a University of Central Florida freshman wide receiver, Ereck Plancher died during off-season conditioning. The team had spent the morning lifting weights and had gone on a "10 minute run" according to Keith Tribble the Athletic director at UCF. After this the team had a quick little chat, and then Planther dropped to one knee and collapsed. The training staff attended to him, however after providing CPR for the young man, he was rushed to the hospital and was pronounced dead at around noon today. Plancher, who was 5'10 and 184 pounds, was a two time letterman back in high school, in Naples, Florida. He had not played a down for the Knights.

Plancher was a burner. In high school he was the speediest wide receiver on his team. He lived his life fast, according to his high school football coach, Chris Metzger. He was always speeding through life, either working out, taking care of his 10 year old brother, or working on his school work. Metzger called him the type of man you want your daughter to marry. That's pretty high praise. Metzger said that Plancher gave 110% in everything in he did. He never smoke or drank and was well liked by many (http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2008/mar/18/ereck-plancher-i-have-never-seen-anyone-him/).

This is becoming a trend. According to ESPN, "High-temperature training has become an issue in college football after the 2001 deaths of Eraste Autin of Florida, Devaughn Darling of Florida State and Rashidi Wheeler of Northwestern. Also, South Florida running back Keeley Dorsey fatally collapsed in January 2007 while lifting weights at the school's athletic facility," (http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3300159). However, in this case weather was not the issue. It was a beautiful 78 degrees in Central Florida today, and there was not a high level of humidity. However, the weather is not the issue.

The issue, whether its weather related or not, truly is that these teams are pushing their players too hard. From offensive lineman Korey Stringer of the Minnesota Vikings in 2001, to pitcher Steve Bechler of the Baltimore Orioles in 2003, players are trying to make a name for themselves. They want to become stars and become that go to guy and give everything they have, and in some cases more than they have. Obviously something needs to be done about this. It is hard to say exactly what should be done, but some kind of precaution should be taken to make sure these students/professional athletes are not over exerting themselves in an effort to show off for their teams. Seriously, these players are doing everything they can to stand out to the team and are doing so at the risk of themselves. Teams should be held accountable if a player collapses during a workout or a practice. These players aren't collapsing during every day activities, and so obviously something isn't right.

In the end, today we should remember a young student athlete, whose career had just begun. Plancher's entire life was ahead of him, and now he will never get the chance to graduate from college or have children one day. Sports are fun and entertaining, but we must remember that these atheletes lives must come first, and that every precaution must be taken to make sure that they understand that their personal well-being must ALWAYS come first. RIP Ereck Plancher.

Southern Comfort

Ah, the South. Where to begin, where to begin? Let's go with the 8-9 match up, and work our way outward. Terrific.

The Oregon Ducks, a school known as much for the ridiculous carousel of uniforms that Nike tests on them as for their production on the football field and basketball court, a school thought by many to be in danger of not making the field at all, is somehow a 9 seed. They go against Mississippi State, a school that hails from the god awful SEC, features the younger, shorter brother of Tyler Hansbrough, and just lost to Georgia on the same they that Georgia, a team with 4 conferences wins all year, just played an overtime game. Needless to say, I have very little faith in either of these teams. I went with Oregon, simply because once upon a time, Malik Hairston was considered a great player. I think he, along with Tajuan Porter, can carry the Ducks over the Bulldogs. It is essentially irrelevant, as Memphis will dispatch whoever wins this game in the next round anyway.

The 7-10 game features Miami and St. Mary's. Miami, like Oregon, was consider a bubble team by many, and they ended up with a 7 seed. They started off the year very well, but struggled some in conference play, excepting, of course, their win over Dook. St. Mary's, similarly, started off the year very well, but ended up on a poor note, with a loss in the WCC semifinals. While Jack McClinton is a good player, and a great shooter, I think St. Mary's is a bit better, and will pull off yet another 7-10 mini-upset. Much like the aforementioned game, the winner off this will probably be cast aside with ease by Texas.

Kentucky is an interesting team as an 11 seed. On one hand, they started off the year atrociously. On the other hand, they played very well in conference play. On the other hand, They play in the Shitty SEC. On the other hand, Ramel Bradley and Joe Crawford, yet another Detroit Renaissance High School All- American bust, are both decent players,. On the other hand, Patrick Patterson, their best player, is injured. On that same hand (the bad hand, in case I lost you), they also lost to a garbage Georgia team in the conference tournament. Also on the bad hand, they have this ugly dude on their team:What an athletic looking individual! Anyway, with all that said, I'm taking Marquette and Dominic James in this one.

Michigan State is the 5 seed in this bracket. I, possibly, may have mentioned on this blog that I have very little respect for any of the Big Ten's basketball teams. Additionally, nearly every year some 12 seed beats a 5 seed. This game looks ripe for an upset pick. HOWEVER, Temple is the 12 seed, and I don't think they are that great, so look for Drew Neitzel to lead the Spartans to a narrow victory. For the record, if Nova and Temple switched regions, I would absolutely take them over Michigan State. Oh well.

The top 4 seeds should all move on with ease as well, and I have very little to say about the 13- 16 seeds (Big Red, like the gum? hilarious!). The top 4 seeds should also dispatch of the aforementioned (twice in one post? Amazing.) winners and advance to the Sweet 16.

The 2-3 matchup, Texas against Stanford, is quite interesting. Stanford has the giant Lopez twins, who not only are good at basketball, but are rising media darlings (they like Michael Jackson, Disney, and Comic books! Totally Normal!).

The Lopez's brother Fantasy

Texas, in contrast, is relatively weak inside (Connor Atchley? Come on now), but they have exquisite guard play. In a tight game, it is going to be a lot easier for DJ Augustin and AJ Abrams to take over than Brook and Robin Lopez, especially against Stanford's average-at-best guards. Texas is the pick.

Memphis and Pittsburgh is also a great match up. Memphis has not played anyone decent since they were defeated by Tennessee, while Pittsburgh just won the grueling Big East Tournament. Memphis, talent-wise, is right up there with UNC, Kansas, and UCLA. They cannot, however, shoot free throws. Additionally, I must reiterate that they have not played a quality team in a long time. Also, Joey Dorsey, despite his high field goal percentage, is not that great of a player. One hell of an athlete, but a great player? Nope. Pittsburgh's Dejuan Blair, in contrast, is a good player. Moreover, Pitt is finally healthy, and looks primed to make a run in the Tourney. That's right, it's finally a real upset, as I have Pitt taking down Memphis!

Riding the momentum from the monumental victory, Pitt should be able to out-size, and out-athlete Texas as they roll into the Final Four.

*Final Note: Some of you may have noticed that I pick very few early upsets. That is because the lower seeded teams suck. Picking upsets for the sake of upsets is dumb. Of course, this will inevitably lead to me being beaten in my pool by someone who picks Siena because it sounds like the name of the Minivan they had growing up, but at least I'll have my integrity. I'll finish up with the West Region on Thursday, enjoy.

Midwest Express

Today, Ladies and Gents, I'll take a look at the Midwest Bracket, which could also be called the North Bracket, but the geographic region names are generally meaningless after the first seed. Anyhow, let's jump right into it.

The Midwest bracket features not 1, not 2, but 3 of the most intriguing first round match ups that the tournament has to offer. The Davidson- Gonzaga match up showcases two of the top mid-major teams in the nation (Gonzaga resents this distinction, but I truly do not care). Davidson features Stephen Curry, son of former Charlotte Hornet Dell Curry. You may also recognize Dell from the seats behind the bench of his alma mater, Virginia Tech. It is unfathomable to me that Virginia Tech failed to get young Stephen to play for them. There must be some reason that such a talent is at Davidson, If Davidson can beat Gonzaga and Georgetown I may decide to find out what it is. Davidson also features a very good point guard named Jason Richards. This duo makes Davidson a formidable foe against any team, as evidenced by their close losses to UNC, Dook, and UCLA earlier this year.
Gonzaga, also known as Davidson before Davidson was Davidson (I think that makes sense...), is also has a formidable back court, featuring Jeremy Pargo and Matt Boulding, among others. Gonzaga also has some good big men, like Josh Heytvelt. This game should be close, but I, along with a surprisingly large amount of other people, am going to pick Davidson in a mini- upset.
Get it?


The second good game in the first round of this bracket features two highly publicized freshman in OJ Mayo (see above) and Michael Beasley (see below).
Michael's sister?

Anyhow, I have USC winning this game, mainly because USC has other good players, namely Davon Jefferson and Taj Gibson, and Kansas State, with the exception of Bill Walker sometimes, does not. As good as Beasley is, the rest of his team sucks enough that USC should win with some ease.

Villanova is a very good 12 seed. They would have been higher had they not forgotten how to play basketball for 2 weeks during the middle of the season. Scotty Reynolds is very good, and if the rest of the Wildcat guards catch fire, as they did in the second half against Syracuse, Clemson could be in trouble. On the flip side, Clemson is a very good team, as evidenced by their ACC tourney performance and close games against UNC throughout the season. Free throws are a huge issue for Clemson, and could end up costing them this game. However, I think they are too talented not to get past Nova. In fact, I see them beating Vandy in the second round as well.

Speaking of Vandy, they are good enough to beat Siena, but, as mentioned previously on this very blog, they are not that great of a team. In fact, the SEC as a whole sucks. As mentioned before, I have Clemson beating them. Clemson's dance ends there, though, because they meet Kansas in the Sweet 16. Kansas will not only beat them, but will advance all the way to the Final Four, where they will play Carolina. Kansas is too deep and talented to lose to anyone in this bracket.

To advance to the Final Four, Kansas will probably play Georgetown. Georgetown can be great on some days, and not show up on others. This could be a recipe for an early exit, but no one on their half of the region is good enough to beat them. Wisconsin, along with the rest of the Big Ten, is mediocre, and I have USC upsetting them in the second round.

The last game i neglected to mention is Kent State- UNLV. I have Kent State, but this game is of little consequence as the victor will proceed on to play Kansas, who will house either team.

Long story short, Kansas to the final four from this region, with some quality, entertaining, games along the way. Huzzah!

Monday, March 17, 2008

March Madness With Pay

The Houston Rockets are the unanimous #1 team in the NBA Power Rankings. And rightfully so I suppose. They currently have the second longest winning streak in NBA history with 22 wins, only behind the 1971-72 Los Angeles Lakes who racked up 33 straight victories. If they win out, they could have a record 38 game winning streak and cement their pace in history. What is most remarkable, is that they are doing it all without Yao Ming. They win ugly. But fact is, they win. Shane Battier has actually become a pretty solid contributor, even without unimpressive statistical numbers, in the NBA (only the 3rd Duke player in history after Hill and Deng?) with great defense and an unselfish mentality. Scola, too, can get the job done. They hustle, they rebound, and they play defense. But are they a championship threat? I don't think so. They're the best team in the West right now, but I don't think they can keep it up. Inspirational bench play only gets you so far. It's too much, too early for the Rockets.

Staying in the Western Conference, the Nuggets beat the Sonics by 52 points, setting a franchise record with 168 points in regulation; they scored 49 fast break points. 8 players scored in double figures and Marcus Camby had a triple double with 13 pts, 15 rbs, and 10 assists, and also added 4 blocks. The Nuggets shot 60.4% from the field, had 44 total assists, had 12 steals, and 10 blocks. Seattle also lost by 42 in February to the Nuggets. The Nuggets currently hold the #9 spot in the West behind Golden State, but face a 5 game road test, starting with the 2nd best team in the East, the Pistons.

I'd love to see the Nuggets add to their 3 game winning streak. They might be the most underachieving team in the NBA. "We're preparing for every game like it's the NCAA Tournament. We can't lose," coach George Karl said. "We know we can probably lose a couple. But our mental thing is, it's a one-game tournament. We've got to win now." They do. Denver is 14-4 when playing teams with fewer than 25 wins (the only problem is that only 5 of their remaining 17 games are against teams with under 25 wins) and are 16-4 when keeping opponents from reaching the century mark.

It looks like Denver is ready to win now. They just picked up Taureen Green, a member of the Florida Gator championship teams. Carmelo is averaging 25.5 ppg (47.7% FG), Kenyon Martin and Kleiza average just under 12 ppg. Camby averages 9.3. My boy Allen Iverson, playing with a fractured finger, adds 26.5 ppg and over 7 assists. He led the 76ers to the NBA finals once. It'd be great to see him lead the Nuggets to a championship in 2008. JR Smith only gets about 18 minutes a game, but averages 11.3 ppg. He also shoots 41% from 3. He could be the key to a deep playoff run, assuming they can get there. The Nugget team shoots an impresive 46.3% from the field. They have all the tools: a capable big man, great guards, All-Star forwards. But, something is missing.

They're an offensive powerhouse when they choose to be. They average 108.9 points per game as a team. A little defense and a little luck will go a long way. If nothing else, they'll be a fun team to watch in the playoffs.

A Smart Decision?


So DJ Hackett has officially joined the Carolina Panthers after he signed a contract, paying him 3.5 million dollars over 2 years, today. I have been unable to find the amount he was paid to sign, better know as the signing bonus, but I am sure it is as modest as his 1.75 million per year that his contract will pay him.

DJ had recently visited the Washington Redskins last week, coming in Wednesday night and leaving Thursday afternoon. DJ did what numerous free agents have not been able to do when visiting the Redskins. Leave without signing a contract. It seems that the Redskins finally made an intelligent decision when it came to free agency. Instead of throwing out millions of dollars at the guy, the Skins made an offer that many claim, wasn't even in the ballpark of what the Panthers offered Hackett. Now I dont know what that means, since the numbers of the Skins offer was never made public, but i can assume that if he signed a 3.5 million dollar deal that the Skins offer must have been for about 1 million dollars a year or less.

That offer would be UNHEARD of in the Washington area. Remember these are the same Skins that offered a mediocre Adam Archuleta a 6 year deal worth 30 million dollars and then gave him 10 million just to sign, thus making him the highest paid safety... EVER. Most of you will remember that Archuleta lasted all of one year with the Redskins and was promptly traded to the Chicago Bears for an awesome 6th round draft pick. Thus, the Skins not offering Hackett millions upon millions of dollars is a big step, in my opinion.

Vinny Cerrato, the Redskins defacto GM, has come out and said that the Redskins will have a new outlook towards free agency this year. He has said "we're not spending because we choose not to spend at the present time. If there would have been somebody out there, or a situation that occurs that warrants us to take a look at it, we would. And if it cost money, we would have looked at an individual who was a high-priced guy if we felt like it was something that made sense for us. In our opinion, there was nothing that we felt we wanted to get into a bidding war over for the Redskins. After our evaluations, what we needed and what was out there really wasn't a fit. Whether it be financially, or whether they [certain players] wouldn't fit in our locker room, there's a lot of issues that have to be evaluated" (Redskins Insider, http://blog.washingtonpost.com/redskinsinsider/2008/03/wooing_hackett.html).

Unbelievable, the Redskins not stating a bidding war for a player. Almost unheard of. Well, for the first time I think they made the right choice . While no one can deny that Hackett has the physical tools to be a solid NFL wide receiver, the man hasn't been able to stay on the field. The 6'2, 208 pound wide receiver, missed roughly 10 games last year due to an ankle injury and has not played in all 16 games once in his brief 3 year career. Maybe he will find a way to avoid the injury bug now that he's with the Panthers, but is it really worth it? The Skins do have 7.7 million dollars in cap space, from reconstructing numerous veterans deals and cutting pieces of shit like Blloyd. However, wouldn't it make sense to finally build a team the proper way, and use that money to draft the right players and reward them when they live up to their potential?

I finally think the Redskins (and Orioles for that matter, but thats another post) have figured out how to run a franchise. I finally think good ol' Danny boy has realized that his spending ways of the past were in fact a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, waste of time, idea. This non-signing of Hackett gives me real hope, real hope, that Zorn and Ceratto actually know what they are doing. It makes me think that possibly, just possibly, the Redskins might truly be heading in the right direction. HAIL baby.

Oh and more Erin Andrews.



Hooray Basketball!

Hooray Basketball!

Box may have sworn off writing about college basketball, but I have not. In fact, I have decided to ignore less pressing issues, including the acquisition of David Carr by the WORLD CHAMPION New York Giants, and discuss, extensively, the NCAA tournament.

JT said that it is debatable whether one's tournament picking abilities are inversely proportionate to their basketball knowledge. From past experience, I can say that people who know nothing win their pools at alarming rates. Despite the fact that my little sister would rather watch America's Top Model than the ACC championship, it is almost guaranteed that she will get more games right than I will. And this sucks. And it is embarrassing. But sometimes these things are just out of our hands.Pre-Crazy TyraBanks

With all that being said, I am still going to provide a region by region breakdown of the NCAA tournament, which will inevitably be wrong and lead to me finishing 26th in a pool with a bunch of people who couldn't separate the Diebler brothers from the Calathes brothers, or plan on picking Kent State to beat Kansas because surely a Golden Flash is superior to a Jayhawk. What the hell is a Jayhawk anyway? Anyhow, let's begin with...

The East Region!
My Carolina Tar Heels earned the Number One overall seed, which basically means they get to play the winner of the play-in game instead of some other equally inept basketball team. It is also supposed to mean that they are matched up with the worst Number 2 seed. Instead, they were paired with Tennessee, who by most accounts was worthy of a Number 1 spot themselves, or at the very least the top Number 2 seed. Moreover, while arguments can be made for the South or Midwest regions, the East is most likely the toughest region. Having Butler and Indiana as 7 and 8 seeds, respectively, is just absurd. Butler is the #10 team IN THE NATION. It is absolutely ridiculous that they are a seven seed, playing in Alabama against a team from Alabama. Might as well step on their head while they are drowning, NCAA. Indiana is also a ridiculously talented team for an 8 seed, but the Tar Heels should be able to handle them, especially since they are playing in North Carolina.

Many members of the media are claiming that Notre Dame may fall victim to an upset. I disagree, as I think the Fighting Irish are a very good team, who would have done big things had they not drawn a Sweet Sixteen match up with UNC. I have them beating Washington State in the second round, although that should be an entertaining game.

I have all the top seeds advancing in the first round, although I have reservations about the Oklahoma- St. Joes game. Blake Griffin's health will go along way in determining whether the Sooners fall victim to an upset.

While I feel Butler could potentially upset Tennessee, i think the Vols will survive, although I have Louisville knocking them out. The Cardinals are a very good 3 seed, and they are better than their record indicates, as they dealt with many injuries throughout the year. I think the Cardinals, with Padgett, Palacios, Clark, and Caracter, are too big inside for the Vols, and they also have quality guard play to match up with Chris Lofton and the gang.

Finally, I have UNC beating Louisville and advancing to the Final Four, where they should go on to win it all. They are, along with UCLA, Kansas, and Memphis, one of the four best teams in the nation (not necessarily my final four picks!), all of whom happen to be Number 1 seeds, and with good reason. My blatant homerism, the fact that they do not leave the State until the Final Four, their undefeated road record, and the re-emergence of Ty Lawson all influenced my choice. HOWEVER, I am terribly afraid of jinxing them, so I would like to make it clear that i have been knocking on wood throughout this entire post.

Anyhow, return tomorrow for one of the other regions, it'll be a surprise, I guess.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

How to Win Your Pool

"We've said this before and we'll say it again: College basketball knowledge is inversely proportional to bracket-picking proficiency, the way academic reputation is inversely proportional to the attractiveness of a school's student bodies (sorry, Duke), the way collegiate scoring touch is inversely proportional to the manly fullness of one's 'stache (see Morrison, Adam and Jordan, Michael)."
- ESPN.com


Point 1: Debatable
Point 2: True
Point 3: I guess


In any case, there is some method to the madness.

"Expert Picks"

Jay Bilas has a bold Final Four prediction featuring North Carolina, Kansas, Memphis, and UCLA (please note that since the NCAA began seeding the tournament in 1979, four #1 seeds have never met in the Final Four). Kansas beats UCLA to win the National Championship. Remarkable.


Digger, too, had all four #1 seeds in the semifinals. Memphis beats UNC to win the national championship.

Hubert Davis has North Carolina, Kansas, Texas and UCLA in the final four, which is a little bit more creative with a #2 seed. Texas, the #2 is then outclassed by the dominant, unbeatable, #1 seed Kansas by biblical proportions. He did have USC playing Kansas in the Elite 8 - way to go out on a limb.

Bob Knight throws a curveball and a chair into the prediction process. He has #4 Pitt in a pool of #1 seeds and then beating
UNC in the finals.

Dick Vitale, bracketologist extraordinaire, has the Tar Heels playing the Hoyas and the Longhorns playing the Bruins in the Final Four. UNC beats UCLA to take the 2008 title.

Other commentary...

  1. A #16 seed has never beaten a #1 seed
  2. #1 seeds are 92-0 in the 1st round
  3. The lowest seeded team hasn't beat the top seeded team in 29 years
  4. #1 seeds are 80-12 in the 2nd round
  5. #1 seeds were 17-3 in last year's tournament
  6. #1 seeds who get cakewalks into the Final Four because their school's athletic director was in the selection committee (UCLA) and #1 seeds who had several games gift wrapped for them because of bad officiating (UCLA) are overrated.
  7. #2 seeds Duke and Tennessee are more overrated than some #1 seeds (UCLA)
  8. Watch out for American University. They were good enough to win the Patriot League...
  9. Clemson doesn't actually shoot 62.7% from the line
  10. I'm certifiably insane. Virginia Tech doesn't belong in the big dance.
  11. The Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils do.
  12. UGA has a basketball team?
  13. Teams that wear blue are better than teams that wear red.
  14. #6 seeds have made the Final Four 6 times since 1979.
  15. Toughest Regions:
    1. Midwest
    2. East
    3. South
    4. West
  16. Erin Andrews?

I just wrote a whole blog and I didn't say shit.

March Madness


The brackets are out. 65 Teams are in, many others are out. March Madness is all set. For the next month or so, college basketball fans are in heaven. We have 48 games this weekend. 12 games next weekend and 3 games the week after that. It is the best playoff system any sport has ever used, college or pro. 65 teams fighting for a right to make it to the round of 32, sweet 16, elite 8, final 4 and then the national championship. Major league baseball, the national basketball association, and the national football league, along with any other sport may have interesting and intriguing playoffs, but none can COMPARE to the end of the college basketball season. It is pure chaos, with one crazy upset after another.

It is an awesome time of the year, and thus my dilemma. I go to a D3 school, Washington University in St. Louis. A school that plays teams like Carnegie Mellon and Emory, it sucks. I do get to watch my team play in a March tournament, but its in arenas like ours, small and cramped full of students with 4.0's and trust funds. Its stupid, annoying and a waste of my time. Thus I have lost almost all interest in this March Madness bullshit. I, unlike almost all of my friends, do not have a team that can make the tourny. I have the University of Maryland, but really, I couldn't care less about Gary Williams and the Terps. If they make it, great I have a team to kind of root for. If they don't, I really wouldn't really care.

I wish more than anything that I had chosen a sports school. A D1 school with good athletics so I could get wasted and go make a fool of myself at the game. Instead, I get to go to a great academic school, and while that has many perks in itself, like a decent job when I graduate, it also has its pitfalls, like no sports. In the end, life sucks during March Madness for me. I wish I could have a team like North Carolina, or a team like Vanderbilt to root for. Schools I could have gone to had I thought about this when I applied to schools back in 2005. So this will be my one and only March Madness post. I will continue to post articles on football and in the next few weeks articles on baseball as that season begins in late March. JT and Shenanigans will probably post an article after article about this, and good for them as they have a team to root for in North Carolina. I, however, do not.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Justin Gatlin: NFL's Fastest Man?

Gatlin participated in a pro timing event today in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Gatlin's 8 year ban was reduced to 4 years and according to SI.com, Gatlin is appealing the ban in hopes of voiding his first two violations, which would allow him to compete in the Beijing Olympic Games this summer.

This isn't the first time Gatlin has worked out as a WR in front of NFL scouts. After the 2007 NFL draft, he visited the Tampa Bay Bucs, the Tennessee Titans, and the Houston Texans. Gary Kubiak said Gatlin was "very impressive" and went on to explain that, "It was positive. He did a good job. Some of our people were over there watching him and were amazed at how fast he ran. I don't even know if he was full speed at that time. But he did catch the ball pretty good."

At 6'1'' 185, Gatlin runs a 9.76 100 meter dash. That would translate mathematically into a 3.56 40 yard dash - if he were on a track, wearing track shoes, and using starting blocks.

But Gatlin hasn't played football since 10th grade. Should that even matter? Antonio Gates didn't play football since his senior year in high school before he was drafted and hes one of the premier TEs in the league. Favre was only offered a scholarship to play DB and he became one of the greatest QBs to ever play the game. Texas Longhorn Jamaal Charles is a four time All-American in track and has won the Big 12 100m dash multiple times. This year he also ran for 1619 yards, 18 touchdowns, and averaged 6.3 ypc. But, I'm skeptical. These guys at least played a sport with a ball. They didn't specialize in running as fast as humanly possible in a straight line.

I can't say that Justin Gatlin isn't a phenomenal athlete. While he would certainly be the fastest player on the field, football is not a track meet. It isn't always about who can run the fastest - that's why teams have safeties. How fast would Gatlin be with a helmet and pads on? He could run a go route great (he would certainly be able to stretch the field), but what about a post corner? Would he be a good route runner at all? Would he be able to take a hit from a LB as he came across the middle? Kubiak said he could catch the ball pretty good, so can millions of other people. A lot of people are fast and suck in the NFL. People like Reggie Bush, Troy Williamson, Matt Jones, and lesser known all-stars like Rondel Menendez, Jay Hinton, Aaron Lockett, Karsten Bailey, and Chris McKenzie.

Honestly, I can't see him being any more than a guy you would throw in there to run a reverse or end around with.

I guess he'd be a pretty scary kick returner though.

Gatlin Bio courtesy of ESPN

Monday, March 10, 2008

Oakland Raiders

There is no question as to who runs the worst nfl franchise. Absolutely no question. Al Davis single handedly has turned the Oakland Raiders into the laughing stock of the nfl, and to be honest, the laughing stock of sports. The man hasn't had a winning season since Rich Gannon was his qb back in 2002. That season his team went 11-5, went on to beat the New York Jets in the divisional playoffs, beat the Titans in the Conference playoffs, and then lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in super bowl 44 by a score of 48-21. In that game, the #1 ranked offense in the nfl (the Raiders) were dominated by the #1 ranked defense in the league. Rich Gannon threw a super bowl record 5 picks, in which 1 was taken to the house. However, somehow the Buc's offense, ranked 18th that year scored a whopping 48 points on the Raiders defense. Meaning that on both sides of the ball the Raiders were owned.

After that loss things became bad for the Raiders. Since then the Raiders have gone a combined 19-61 in those 5 seasons, having won less than 5 games in every season except the 2004 season when they went an awesome 5-11. They even had a year in which they went 2-14, back in 2006. They have been so bad that up until this year most free agents refused to even visit the teams complexes let alone sign with them. Al Davis is a joke, a shell of his former self, and over the last 5 years he hasn't even been able to keep his coaches around. The team has gone through 4 coaches since that super bowl year, not including the coach who coached the super bowl, Jon Gruden, who was traded to the Buc's that offseason for draft picks (I didn't know that was allowed until this trade happened). The team has gone through Bill Callihan, who went 17-18 in his 2 years from 2002-2003. They then had Norv Turner, who himself somehow lasted 2 seasons, even though he went a putrid 9-23. Then came the great Art Shell, who in his first go around, from 1989-1995 went 56-41, but this time was only able to last all of 1 year and put up that awful 2-14 season. Now they have the young Lane Kiffin, who was basically fired in the off-season but was somehow able to stick around and maintain his title of head coach, even though Al Davis has done everything in his power to undermine him. He went a great 4-12 in his only year so far.

Now in this off-season the team has decided that its only hope of regaining its former glory is by singing mediocre free agents to RIDICULOUS contracts. Example A. Javon Walker who signed a 6 year 55 million dollar contract, giving him 16 million just to sign. Remember Walker is coming off knee surgery and has had only 1 decent year since 2005. He also was only able to play in 8 games last year due to his knee. Then we have example B. Tommy Kelly who re-signed with the Raiders for a RIDICULOUS 7 year 50.5 million dollar contract, with 18.125 million just to sign. Kelly himself was only able to play in 7 games last year due to an acl tear, and even with that he has only produced 13 sacks in his 4 pro years, and a total of 166 total tackles. Those are just 2 terrible deals the Raiders have signed, but I think they illustrate the point fairly well.

Now I even have heard a rumor, from profootballtalk.com, that their #1 pick from the 2006 draft, Jamarcus Russell, the man who held out for almost all of training camp and then signed a ridiculous deal (not because the Raiders are stupid but simply because #1 picks always sign RIDICULOUS deals) is getting EXTREMELY FAT, close to 300 pounds. Russell has and will always be a big man. playing weight is 255 pounds meaning that he is a big man. He is probably the 2nd heaviest qb in the nfl to the New York football Giants Jared Lorenzen, who is listed at 285 pounds. This rumor has since been disputed, but not proven false and thus makes me think. There must be no control in this organization. The fact that their qb of the future, the man who is supposed to take this team and make something of it, is getting up in weight, even in the off-season is sad. Someone needs to take control of that man and keep him regimented. Keep him in shape all year round and make sure he is working out as much as he can. In today's nfl, as sad as it is, there is no "off-season." The pro-bowl players are those who workout each and every day and make sure that they aren't losing a step on anyone. Russell cannot become another Tank Johnson a man who just sits there eating all day. He was the #1 pick in the 2006 nfl draft, he should not be rumored, ever, to be weighing 300 pounds. This is just another example of how poor management and organization can ruin a once storied franchise.



Pictured before the weight gain occurred, but in a hilarious getup.