NFL Draft Analysis! Part Two

I think Mel Kipah Joonyah and Todd "Nemesis" McShay should battle in a no holds barred cage fight. They hate each other and Kiper obviously cannot handle another draft savant on his block. Kiper has all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for frustration of not predicting the draft correctly and disgust for McShay. Something horrible is happening inside of him and he doesn't know why. Kiper's nightly bloodlust has overflown into his days. He feels lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think his mask of sanity is about to slip. Personally, I think it's because T-Mac called the Mr. Irrelevant selection 15 minutes before it happened. And now for the analysis:

• Carolina Panthers: 7 Scissoring Cheerleaders (out of 10): The Panthers had 2 first round picks by trading their 2009 1st round selection to the Philadelphia Eagles. John Fox has nothing to lose but his job, so why not right? They took Jonathan Stewart with the 13th pick and Jeff Otah from Pitt with the 19th. I like Stewart. He runs hard and fast and should be able to compliment DeAngelo Williams nicely. Otah gives the Panthers some youth along the offensive line and he could compete for a starting spot this fall. Godfrey isn't spectacular but he can contribute on special teams. Dan Connor was a steal in the 3rd round as he was predicted to go as early as midway through the first round at one point and is PSUs all time leading tackler. Tar Heel Hilee Taylor got picked up in the 7th round w00t. With 9 draft picks, maybe half of those will pan out.
• Chicago Bears: A pretty good, but not great deep dish pizza. I would still rather have a thin crust pizza: Kevin Smith will start because Cedric Benson is about as useful as Ricky Williams is to the Dolphins. Chris Williams is good. Earl Bennett was productive at Vandy and will help the Bears' awful WR corps. They have no chance of winning the NFC North. LSU safety Craig Steltz may also start opposite Danieal Manning.
  
• Cincinnati Bengals: C for Convicts: Marvin Lewis talked about focusing on drafting pass rushers before the draft. Pass Rushers Drafted: 0. I love the Keith Rivers pick. With Sedrick Ellis off the board, the Bengals took the the second of the 10 USC players to be drafted this past weekend. Although he has some durability concerns, Rivers can be a dominant force at the LB position for years to come. He is a freak athlete and has a good nose for the football. The Bengals won't break .500, but Rivers should have a similar impact to the one Patrick Willis had last year in San Fran. Ah...Jerome Simpson - the measurable monster. He's a skinny bugger at 190 lbs but he's 6'2'' and should be able to add some pounds without sacrificing speed. He has great reach because of his LONG ARMS!!!!!!! and has the biggest hands of any receiver in the draft. He runs in the mid 4.4s and has a 43 inch vertical. He was once SportsCenter's #1 play with a one hander lander. He also hurdled a defender once in a spectacular fashion. We'll see if all those measurables can translate into productivity at the professional level. Andre Caldwell will be a bust just like all the other UFlorida WRs. Pat Sims was a good pick in the 3rd round. Sims was considered by many to be one of the top 5 DTs. The Bengals never learn though. They drafted Jason Shirley, the DT out of Fresno State, who has been trials pending on two DUIs and one hit and run. The Bengals have had 10 players arrested in the past 14 months and if I had to guess, Shirley will be wearing white stripes, instead of orange ones, before long. Anthony Collins could develop into a good OT after a couple of years. Mike Williams, I mean Mario Urrutia, will be a non-factor.
• Cleveland Browns: B for the Browns and Brady Quinn! NOW I'M DONE (almost)!: Beau Bell was an excellent pick in the 4th round. He racked up 126 tackles (10 for a loss), 4 interceptions, 5 forced fumbles, and 3 sacks. Those are some impressive stats, even if he was just playing for football powerhouse UNLV. In a couple years the Browns could have one of the better linebacking corps with D'Qwell Jackson, Kamerion Wimbley, Andra Davis and Beau Bell. It's too early to tell how Hubbard will develop, but he could be an exciting player. Taking everything into consideration (trading this years 1st round pick for the overrated Brady Quinn, trading their 2nd round pick for Packers' DT Corey Williams, and their 3rd for the Lions' Shaun Rogers) they had a very good draft, even if technically they drafted two DTs who are approaching their 30s. In any case, Rogers and Williams will start and greatly improve the Browns' defensive line.